Depending on how you look at it, Hard Ticket to Hawaii is either the second or fourth movie of a series, however, it is safe to say that Hard Ticket to Hawaii is easily Sidaris’ best movie so far. As expected the film comes packaged with a deviously cheap credit sequence.
Taking the carefree approach of filling the film full of absurdity, after absurdity without slipping into a full on lampoon, Hard Ticket to Hawaii walks a tightrope and manages to hold on for dear life to the end, even if it might not be walking the line but clinging to, it does not falling. Hard Ticket to Hawaii is by no means a well made film, but the improvements over the previous Sidaris films are obvious, additional money helps on screen and the plumped up script makes for a much more well rounded experience.
To the plot, I would love to say “what there is of it,” however, I cannot. There are a couple of plots running through the film, converging in the climax. The first is the obligatory tussle between drug lords and secret agents, nothing spectacular, however adding the exotic locations and skimpy swimwear adds a lot to the mix. This time the baddies a flying remote controlled helicopters ladened with diamonds and drugs between the islands. Alongside the main plot is the subplot of an (unconvincingly) dangerous and contaminated snake popping up and attacking various characters here and there. It sounds like it might add a decent amount of tension to the events, but it doesn’t, although it gives the third act a lot more to play with after the villainous lair has been taken down.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii does not pick up where Malibu Express ended, the relationship with Malibu Express is strangely meta. Our two heroines discuss how Cody, the lead from the previous film, gave up being a secret agent to become an actor, with a poster in the background of Malibu Express. Adding to this are posters of Seven and Stacey. However, the poster’s presence opens up too many questions and the type of conversation multiverse experts will likely address in the future.
Our secret agent heroines are Donna and Taryn. Sidaris has picked some quality ladies to lead the film. As Donna, Dona Spier’s talents are frequently on display, however, Hope Marie Carlton’s Taryn is easily the more notable of the two, putting in a terrific performance and is engaging beyond her beauty. Cody’s replacement is his cousin, Rowdy, played by Ronn Moss. Moss is a likeable lead feeling game for a laugh with his co-stars. Rowdy’s character is an obvious replacement of Cody as many of Cody’s character traits exist in Rowdy, his inability to shoot straight being the most obvious.
Sidaris fills the film with silly humour and outlandish ideas, exploding blow up dolls and radioactive pythons that pad out a plot that sees a few secret agents shakedown a drug kingpin in Hawaii. The Kingpin is played by British character actor Peter Bromilow, however, it’s his Number One who carries out the majority of villainous doings, played by Rodrigo Obregón. Rodrigo sees a record number of take-downs during the climax as he is stabbed, shot, poisoned, blown up, yet continually coming back for more.
There are little moments I felt drew me into the film more so. Taryn’s pre-flight checks for example, as she tests the fuel I began wondering if their was a little extra input from Carlton as she looks to be making the most of the role, perhaps she has experience of flying a plane or has she been doing research prior to filming? Sidaris has a beefy cameo, playing a sleazy character, a likeable, self mocking turn. This lighter approach carries on to the rest of the cast, laughter between the leads feels genuine and everyone seems to be comfortable and enjoying the atmosphere.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii is about as far as you can get from fine art and it’s a welcome distraction. The film does suffer in a number of areas as it’s still poorly made, better than before, but lacking even the lower level of quality you might expect from the impressive original poster art. Action sequences feel clunky and need to be tightened up. Particular scenes feel like they have been added for either padding or because the opportunity presented itself at the time, the sports interview gag and Martial arts showcase between Harold Diamond and a random henchman really serve no purpose. There are distracting errors from time to time, like Rowdy shielding himself from bullets behind some wicker furniture with fluffy cushions and a frenzied Obregón hacking through a louvre door with a flick knife defiles logic.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii is not a film you could get mad at for silly problems, it’s just a riot from start to finish. Today, Hard Ticket to Hawaii would never be made and I salute Sidaris from being the independent filmmaker he was and just getting these made, released and keeping them outside the studio system. If you need undemanding cinema, this is the perfect option.
Most of Sidaris’ movies have great art, however, recent re-releases have opted for generic art. The original hand drawn poster is a classic and impossible to resist.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii has been regularly released on various differnt formats over the years and there really has not been a time then it’s been a hard film to find.
The imported Blu Ray is easily the best way to watch, until a 4K UHD arrives. It’s on Amazon (affiliate link included.)
There are a few different box-sets of the Lethal Ladies series (all the Sidaris movies aside from Stacey and Seven) from dirt cheap to moderately priced around the web. I would recommend a dirt cheap box set to start with and then upgrade to the Blu rays if you had a fun time with them.
