The Pawn (1999)

I am fairly certain I am the custodian of a sacred artifact. I own The Pawn on DVD. I might actually be the only person who owns this on DVD. It is becoming increasingly difficult to find, likely because the internet has collectively decided to scrub it from history to protect future generations.

Before dusting off the plastic case, I searched high and low—streaming services, rental sites, the dark web—hoping for a high-definition upgrade. No joy, even an SD version was absent. The film has vanished without a trace. It is a ghost, and I might be its sole keeper.

The Pawn is a bargain-basement cop thriller centred on Ray (Greg Evigan), a New York cop who decides he’s had enough excitement. Naturally, he transfers to a “quiet” precinct in … possibly Baltimore or Buffalo (It’s filmed in Ontario). Because nothing bad ever happens in the snowy and cold towns near the Canadian border, right?

Almost immediately, Ray realises that his relocation plan sucks. He is thrown into a power struggle with the local Russian mob, because in the late 90s, if you didn’t have Russian mobsters, did you even have a movie? Cue the standard checklist: double-crosses, plot twists you saw coming from the opening credits, and an exhaustive amount of sneaking around corners holding a gun sideways.

Despite the cliched story and a couple of unintential slow motion upskirts, the movie is a technical marvel, provided you define “marvel” as “a series of baffling mistakes.” The sound editing is where the real comedy lives.

• The Silent Scream: In the opening action sequence, Evigan opens his mouth to yell an instruction to his partner. His mouth opens… and silence follows. The sound editor apparently went on a coffee break and forgot to come back.
• Foley Failures: The footsteps sound like they were recorded in a different town and pasted in blindly.
• The Noisy Floor: Some scenes are so loud with background shuffling that the dialogue becomes a theoretical concept rather than an auditory one.

The direction is delightfully slapdash. There are multiple moments where the actors seem to be waiting for a cue that never comes. You can physically see Greg Evigan standing there, ready to deliver a witty quip, only to realise nobody wrote one for him. So, he just shuffles his feet and does an awkward laugh, looking around as if wondering if he left the oven on at home.

It’s uncomfortable, unnatural, and hilarious. However, when Evigan pairs up with Tony Lo Bianco, things stabilise. Watching them interact feels like watching two exhausted plumbers trying to fix a toilet. They are old pros just trying to get the job done so they can go home.

Let’s be honest: this movie didn’t have the budget for “thrills.” It had the budget for “mild concern.”

• The Sneak: 80% of the action is just men in leather jackets creeping down corridors.
• The Car Chases: The vehicular stunts are incredibly polite. You get the distinct impression the production manager threatened to dock the pay of anyone who scratched the rental cars.
• The Big Bang: However, credit where it’s due, they saved the entire budget for the last ten minutes. There is an explosion at the climax that is shockingly competent. It’s almost startling, like seeing a Monet painting in a public toilet wall bathroom.

With the notable exception of Evigan and Lo Bianco, the remainder of the cast is nearly forgettable. However, Sydney Penny (All My Children) stands out. An actress we are first introduced to while she’s sitting on the toilet. Despite this unceremonious entry and a thankless role, she makes the most of it. Though her recent work skews toward “squeaky clean” family TV movies, her early credits—including T.J. Hooker and Pale Rider, cement her as almost royal pedigree.

Greg Evigan tries his best to be the handsome hero, even though the script insists on making him a smarmy jerk for the first half. But the real kicker is the ending. As the film closes, the camera zooms in deep on Ray’s face, searching for profound emotional resonance. The movie thinks it’s Schindler’s List, but it’s actually just a post-midnight filler title on the Manly Movie channel… or whatever they were called at the time.

The Pawn is a glorious mess of bad sound, awkward pauses, and budget constraints. It is frustrating, technically broken, and I wouldn’t trade my rare DVD copy for the world, unless the Russian mafia came looking for it.

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