love, guaranteed

love, guaranteed

On the latest Tech Addicts podcast I admitted that I have many 1,000s of posts in my image collection. I am a poster nut. Love them! However, every once in a while, a poster comes along that refines expectations. love, guaranteed (2020) is … not that poster.

Look at this garbage. Was there a meeting about how to excite the public into wanting to watch this product?

Nothing sells a movie more than “woman on the phone.” Sprinkle in nameless people looking happy and you need nothing more.

Despite the contents the designer, on a 5-figure salary no doubt, has opted to use three images sliced together, no blending, no frames. Just the raw image aligned with the pervious image. Bold and empowering. “We don’t need photoshop skills to convey our movie.
“How many photo’s of Wayans do we have? Two? I hope he is wearing the same coat. He is? Brillant!

Enter the logo designer. The title, “Love, Guaranteed” needs to stand proud in the poster. Let’s make no mistakes! The word love needs to mean love, not hate. It had best be pink. Not red, that would mean hate. Not green, that’s envy. Not blue, that’s a bloated drowning victim, and that’s not the image we want to project. We must also punctuate in pink!

Guaranteed is a long word. Better not mess with it. The price might go up.

Reinforce the love by adding a heart after “guaranteed.” It can be red, not for hate as we have established. But red for blood, you know cardiovascular reasons. No! Romance is Red!! You thought hatred was red, it all changed after the guaranteed.

Logo designer has left. But he forgot to hold down shift for the L and the G. It’s a title. But this is cutting edge, forget the capitals!

I present you with the poster for love actually
No! Sorry!

love, guaranteed


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